Info-mercials and what-not

Please allow me a few moments to engage in a rant against infomercials............

Who hasn't been tempted to "call in the next 10 minutes" by Vince, the impish, make that freakish, spokesperson for the amazing ShamWow?? I wonder who made the decision to hire this psychopath to sell their product? Is there anything about him that viewers might find appealing? Doesn't there need to be some type of appeal in order to dupe unwary consumers into buying worthless products? Apparently he did something right because now he's hawking a new product, the SlapChop You need to watch this commercial, the guy actually says, (and I quote) "You're gonna love my nuts." He then proceeds to chop almonds, walnuts, etc.

To be honest, I bought a very similar product a few years ago and I use it all the time. (FYI, my gadget "opens like a butterfly for easy cleaning" so it must be high quality!) Ok, I admit I probably paid more money for it than I should have, definitely more than "$24.95, but wait if you order in the next 10 minutes (and you know we can't do this all day) you'll also receive the Graty Chees Grater as a free bonus!! Just pay separate shipping and handling" which, when combined will surpass the total cost of the original product!!! If my chopper ever breaks, as God as my witness, I shall NEVER buy a SlapChop!!!

The main question I have about Vince's commercials is, what's the purpose of the cordless microphone he's wearing?? I just don't get it.

On to the next pitchman.....................

He doesn't have the disturbing evil eyebrow that Vince does, but almost as annoying is his predecessor, Billy Mays, the yell-talking salesman who began his descent, I mean ascent to stardom selling OxiClean. Hmmm, now that I'm actually wasting my time doing some research, I have discovered that ShamWow is in fact, an imitation of ZorbEEZ, a product that Billy Mays advertised several years ago. I remember that product now and I'm sure that a lawsuit is under way.

I've stumbled upon a funny website http://www.billymays.net/ where the owner is offering to sell Billy Mays the domain registration to his own name!!! For only $149.95 he's offering to sell the domain billymays.com for 3 easy payments, but wait, he'll throw in billymays.org if you call in the next three minutes!! That's pretty amusing.

I can't rant and rave about annoying commercials without mentioning the Headon Commercials. It's a commercial that actually points out its own annoyance factor. "Headon, I hate the commercial but I love the product." Be honest, has anyone actually bought this snake oil??

And speaking of snakes, my last annoying commercial for this evening (or this morning as the case may be) would have to be the one featuring Smilin' Bob, the pitchman for that "once daily tablet for male enhancement." Do you, like me, get that stupid, whistling theme song stuck in your head?? I really just wanna slap that smile off his geeky face, he creeps me out almost as much as Vince does!!

I'm afraid that I may have to continue this discussion on another day, there are so many annoying commercials and spokespeople out there that I could go on and on, but alas, I need to get some sleep. I hope I've gotten it out of my system. Goodnight! Operators are standing by.....